The Gift of AJ

I didn't give you the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of you.

Being the parents of AJ is one of the greatest gifts we have ever been given.  It is an honor to have him as our son.  Adoption is a beautiful and wonderful gift. Countries and agencies may put a price on adoption, but a child is priceless. AJ is priceless, and he is of great value to us. He is our son.

One year ago today, we brought AJ home. Home. He now understands what a home is. Home is where your family is. Home is where you are always loved.  And oh how Ryan, Brody, and I love him so very much!

I think of his birth mother often. She gave this world the gift of AJ. She chose to give him life, and then she made the best plan she could for him to have a life. I am grateful for her. On the day we left the orphanage, the director presented me with this poem.

“Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.”
-Julie Anderson

I will never be able to say thank you to her for giving the world our handsome and full of life son, but not being able to tell her "thank you" does not make her gift any less special. Maybe it makes it even more special. One day when AJ is older, I will tell him of her story. I will tell him their story. I will give him a gift she left for him and only him. Maybe he'll share the story and gift with the world one day or maybe he'll keep it to himself. But it is his to tell or keep. Our darling will know he is loved, and he is a wonderful gift. 

B's Little Hearts and Our Fingerprints

Brody- family of five, please!

Brody decided to "make something" a couple of weeks of ago.  This is a strange request for him because he does not like to do crafts.  But he got out paper, crayons, and scissors to start his project.  He made five hearts with smiling faces.  Brody said, "That's daddy, you, me, and the babies from India." Who knew little paper hearts could be so encouraging?

As always when talking about "his babies," he says, "I love THEM so much!"

Now we are only planning on adopting one child from India, although we would be DELIGHTED to adopt two children.  Brody made up his mind from the beginning that he was getting two babies.  Some days I find myself believing him...like when my car broke back in January, and we had to buy another vehicle.  We went ahead and brought a van to hold several children.  I keep hoping his family of five dream comes true!  Who am I kidding, I hope for Brice, Party of 7!

So what's new with our adoption?  Not much!  We had our biometrics appointment this morning.  They took our fingerprints, AGAIN!  While it has been disappointing to do all of our paperwork again, at least we can say we are completely update.  We've done as much as we can, and we will continue to wait.  We hope to hear something soon, even if it's just "hey, we got your paperwork."  Praying for even the tiniest bit of good news!

Brody is very ready for a brother or sister.  He says Maggie does not count as his sister.

When Pigs Have Eight Eyes

Brody asked for a piggy bank this month.  I asked him why he needed one, and he told me he needed to save money to adopt babies.  He does not understand that the adoption process is long so he was ready to take matters into his own hands.  He thinks his saving will bring babies home faster.  He really wants to be a big brother!  Brody is energetic, loud, always into something, and surprisingly very tender hearted.   He loves babies!  And he has a heart for the orphan!!!   So all the coins have now been gathered all over the house to go into his bank, and he is proud of his bank.  With all the waiting, Brody's idea for the pig is a big encouragement to me.  That pig makes me smile every time I walk past it knowing our whole family is working towards bringing a baby home. Yes, the pig has 8 eyes...would you expect a normal pig from The Brices???

The update-  Things are moving in India!!!  They allowed 100 families all over the world get a registration number in the month of January....we were one of those families.  Whoo hoo!!!  Now that we have a registration number, we can follow our process online.  According to their new system, once our dossier is sent again but this time with a registration number we will get assigned to an orphanage within 15 days.  Hopefully getting a referral for a child at that time or soon after.  This is a new system, a new way of doing things, new laws to understand, and it could take longer than what they are planning for.  I remain very optimistic.  I'm believing we will adopt a baby this year.  I'm looking forward to sharing more good news in February.  Please pray with us!

Adoption is when a child grew in its mommy's heart instead of her tummy. ~Author Unknown

Happy Mother's Day



Brody and I making a memory at the Birmingham Zoo



Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

I just wanted to wish all the moms a very Happy Mother's Day.  Being a mom is hard work, but the salary is the best because the reward is pure love. 

It is a joy to be a mother to Brody!  I watch him daily grow and grow into the amazing boy he is.  It's bittersweet to see my baby grow into a little man.  I held a friend's baby recently and as I handed the little bundle of joy back to her mother my chest ached.  I long to be a mother to another baby.  There is just a need inside of me to take care of people.  So as we continue to wait in the adoption, I pray God will allow me love on those in my community around me. 

Adoption update...things a starting to move again in the India adoption world.  We are extremely excited about eight children now being with their forever families.  I have loved reading the blogs of these families, and I have shed some tears of joy over these last few weeks.  It's also exciting to know that there are spots for eight more babies at the orphange.  Our family is #8 on the non-NRI waiting list.  There are six families on the NRI list that come before us so really that makes us like #14 on the waiting list.  The estimated time for a referral is 18-24 months.  That's a long time, but I remain optimistic that things will continue to keep moving making the waiting time a little bit shorter.  I think if God can move mountains then He can move paperwork too.  I chose to be optimistic in everything.  I figure I can always cry later if I need to, but I rather look for the good right now.  While I'm looking at the good, being #8 is better than #10!  It's good to be at a new number.

The Whys

We get asked often why we are adopting and why we are adopting from India.  Although those are personal questions, I never mind answering them.  My life is an open book for all to read so I'm just fine with sharing my thoughts and reasons.  Feel free to ask me questions anytime.  We created this blog to let family and friends know what is going on with the adoption, and we also want to be an encouragement to those who are adopting, have adopted, or may be considering adopting as well. 

Why adoption?  
My doctors have all recommended that I not try to conceive again.  My body and pregnancy just don't agree.

1st pregnancy- Baby Andy miscarried at 12 weeks

2nd pregnancy- Baby Brody born at 28 weeks weighing 2 lbs. 4 0z.

It would be a great risk for me to try for a third baby.  It was also very difficult to watch Brody fight to live.  I would not want to make another child have to go through what he did.

My first time to see Brody.  He was 2 days old.

This week we celebrate Brody's 5th birthday, and he is doing wonderful.  We still work hard to help him in some areas, but we are so thankful for all the struggles that have made us a strong family.  Brody really wants a brother, and I hope one day he gets his wish.

In 2008, we went to Africa for the first time, and it was a  trip that changed our lives.  Had Brody been on that trip with us, I'm not sure Ryan would have ever got me to leave. On day 3 of that trip, I told God how much I loved being in this village and would gladly move there.  So we began praying from that day for several weeks if God would have us to change ministries and go on the mission field.  God did speak to our hearts and gave us a knowing that our place was to continue to serve in the church and share God's word with teenagers.  He did move us to North Carolina, but He sent us here with a passion for all the nations.

Hassan and Housayni with their beautiful mother

This is who I meet on day three who broke my heart.  These tiny twins who probably weighed around 4 lbs. were so precious.  Their mother's milk was already starting to go dry, and I couldn't help to wonder as I held them if they would survive.  I wanted to help them, and I cannot hardly describe what it feels like when your whole chest aches so badly with the feeling of you need to do something.  Now these boys have parents who were doing their best for them, but I started thinking about all the orphans who have no family.  I thought about what if Brody had been born to a different family, and they gave him up because they thought it might be too hard to take care of him.  I had to change the way I thought of the world after my eyes had been open to the desperate needs of the world.  There are so many orphans in need, and our family is incomplete and is in need of more little feet running about the house with sweet little smiles that light up the room.  So we will build our family through adoption. We have lots of love to give, and we can hardly wait for our baby to come home where he or she is hugged daily and told what a special treasure they are.

Why India?
Selecting an adoption agency is no easy task.  There are many out there, and you will find yourself asking "Who's the best?"  I'm not sure there is one better than the other, but the best fit for our family is Dillon International.  We prayed a lot about what country to adopt from, and we just kept being led to India.  I've never really been around many people of Indian heritage, but during those weeks of prayer I bumped into so many of them.  Whether I was sitting in a waiting room or in an airport, someone from India would end up sitting beside me to which we had wonderful conversations.  I even came upon a family who had adopted from India at a grocery store.  God kept confirming India over and over to us. 

India is not a huge country, but it is the second most populated country in the world.  Many of its people live in near starvation on the streets in overcrowded cities.  A recent study showed the Indian states, including Bihar, Uttar Pradesh and West Bengal, have 421 million poor people.  This is more than the 410 million poor in the poorest African countries.  It was hard for me to believe at first that eight Indian states account for more poor people than in the 26 poorest African countries combined.  As I wrote in my last blog, UNICEF estimates the number of orphans at 210 million in the world in 2010. This includes the estimated 86 million orphans in India, 44 million orphans in Africa and 10 million orphans in Mexico.  To us, there just seemed like a bigger need for adoption there than in other countries. 

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8  I remember my youth minister George teaching this passage when I was sixteen years old, and it had a great effect upon me.  He shared the importance of being God's witness to our neighbors, to the person who's locker is next to you, to the old lady on the other end of town, to the opposing college football team in the state and their fans, to the people up North who don't drink sweet tea, to the people across the country, and to all the nations until we reached the ends of the earth.  I am called to go to all distances to share the gospel.  My heart's desire for many years has been to be an Acts 1:8 family.  As a family, we will be a witness in our community, state, country, and world.  India is our "ends of the earth."  We may not be able to bring the gospel to the whole Nation of India, but we can bring it to one child.


These are the answers to the "whys" we get.  It may not make sense to some, but that's ok too.  It's what is good and right for our family.  My prayer for writing this is that it will plant a seed for a new thought to someone. 

We're On The Waiting List!

Today was a great day!  We are delighted to announce we've made the waiting list.  I'm a Whoo Girl so I've saying "Whooooooo!"  all afternoon.  I'll call someone up to tell of our good news and all I can hardly get out is "We're on the list!  Whooo!"  It is such a wonderful feeling to have made it one step closer to getting a baby.  We are number 10 on the non NRI (non resident India) list.  It is an estimated time of 10-18 months for a referral.  This happening today on Valentine's Day is so appropriate.  It's a day all about love, and we already have love in our heart for the baby who will be a part of our family one day.  I'm amazed how love for someone I've never met makes praying more passionate and fun because I care for the future the baby, saving money easier because of the purpose, and keeping a house in order more important because I want it to be home where children feel cared for.

Just a cute Indian baby!

A Note From Ryan: Cristy posted this from my computer which is why it says below that I posted this entry.  I am certainly not a "Whoo Girl"- but am glad to be married to one.

Our Dossier is Complete

All the papers that had to be apostilled

The last couple of papers we were waiting to come in finally made it here yesterday.  We added them to our big stack of papers, and our dossier was complete.  I immediately took them to the Post Office.  I was so excited, and all I wanted to do was dance.  I must say the Post Office people were not as excited as they should have been when I announced our dossier was finished.  If my life was a musical, the PO scene would have been fantastic.  Well, Brody and I danced and took pictures of us mailing it anyways.  When it's time to celebrate we just don't care who is around and watching us.

This means we should be on the waiting list very soon!!!!

Ok, so I know somebody is reading this going what's a dossier.  So I will do my best to explain it.  A dossier (pronounced "doss-e-aye") is the group of documents that you have to put together in order to begin an international adoption.  It's a lot of documents!

What Goes Into a Dossier?

While dossier requirements are different for each country, here is what India requires:

• Financial information- written letters from the financial institutions with which you do business stating your account balances
• Adoption Bond- petition for guardianship and post placement agreement.
• Original certified copies of birth and marriage certificates
• Particulars of Property- list of major items the family owns and their current value
• Employment verification - must be on company letterhead and have a recent date.  Must state position and salary.
• Homestudy – notarized copy of home study performed for adoption.
• Power of Attorney- gives the head of the orphanage in India permission to operate on our behalf before we arrive.  
• Results of criminal background check
• Copy of the photo pages of your passport
• 3 Letters of reference
• Name affidavit- states every possible combination of your name.
• There are also three other documents that our adoption agency will include in our dossier.

You can understand our excitement now that you know how much work goes into the dossier.  Ryan has been amazing at this!  We are just pumped about the completion of the dossier.  Not only do these documents have to be notarized but they also have to be apostilled too.  Depending on what state you are sending it to depends on the price.  It's $5-$15 per document.  And some of the documents above required multiple originals.  Documents must be sent to the Secretary of State in the state where they were certified of notarized (We had documents from 4 different states).

What exactly does ‘Apostille’ mean?

When you present a legal document in a foreign country, it is often very difficult to determine whether the document is genuine and legal.  In 1961, the process for legalizing documents for use abroad was abolished and replaced by a simple certificate of authenticity, called an ‘Apostille’, under the Hague Convention.  An apostille is a certificate that is attached to an official legal document to verify that the signatory on your document is genuine and person who signed your document is a recognized and authorized person of the organization that issued the document.  Each apostille is dated, given a unique reference number and registered. 

I just want to encourage those who are in this process, or thinking about doing it that YOU CAN DO THIS!  I know there will be moments of this process that you will want to pull your hair out, but just keep going and it will get done.  It will be so worth it when you are finally holding your child! 

Remember Psalm 82:3 "Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy."

I Love THEM Sooooooo Much!

 

If you give a kid markers and a sheet of white paper and tell him to draw what his life is like, you will always be amazed at what he thinks about it.  Brody drew a picture of the sun first.  He said he likes to play outside when it's hot (he gets that honest from his mom).  The rectangle is our house with a little triangle for the roof.  To the right is Ryan, then me, and Brody below us.  I'm not sure why we have such long legs.  The four legged creature is Maggie the dog beside our mailbox.  To the left of the drawing is an electrical box and a tree with some grass .  The best part of his drawing is the two potato looking things at the bottom below the house.  Brody said, "That's my baby brothers coming from India.  I love them soooooo much!"  That's right folks, Brody believes we're getting twins.  I tried to explain that twins are rare in India, and we don't get to pick if the baby is a boy or a girl.  Of course, Brody assured me that he will be getting two babies.  What really blesses my heart is to hear him say, "I love them sooooo much!"